Physical attraction in Christian dating

Physical attraction, a powerful and often instantaneous force, plays a significant role in the world of dating. It’s the spark that often ignites interest and curiosity between two individuals. But when it comes to Christian dating, how should this natural instinct be perceived? How can believers ensure that it complements, rather than competes with, the more profound spiritual and emotional connections?

Physical Attraction: A Gift from God

  • First, it’s essential to recognize that physical attraction, in itself, isn’t wrong or superficial.
  • It’s a natural, God-given instinct. Song of Solomon 1:15 affirms this: “Behold, you are beautiful, my love. Behold, you are beautiful. Your eyes are doves.”
  • This scripture, among others, portrays the beauty and appreciation of physical attraction within a godly context.

However, Balance is Key

  • While physical attraction is natural and good, it’s just one piece of the puzzle.
  • A relationship built solely upon it is like a house built on sand, lacking depth and foundation.
  • For a Christ-centered relationship, spiritual and emotional connections should form the cornerstone.

Tips to Balance Physical Attraction with Deeper Connections

1. Self-Reflection and Prayer

  • Before diving deep into a relationship, spend time in prayer.
  • Ask God for discernment to understand your feelings.
  • Are you being drawn to someone solely based on physical attributes, or is there a deeper connection?

2. Value Spiritual Intimacy

  • Prioritize spiritual activities together.
  • Study the Bible, pray, and attend church services as a pair.
  • Acts 2:42 encourages believers to spend time in fellowship and the word: “They continued steadfastly in the apostles’ teaching and fellowship, in the breaking of bread, and prayer.”

3. Engage in Meaningful Conversations

  • Make time for deep discussions that allow you to understand each other’s dreams, fears, ambitions, and beliefs.
  • Such conversations can amplify emotional intimacy, balancing the scales with physical attraction.

4. Set Physical Boundaries

  • To ensure physical attraction doesn’t overshadow other aspects, it’s crucial to set and maintain clear physical boundaries.
  • This not only upholds purity but also allows space for other forms of intimacy to flourish.

5. Seek Counsel

  • Talk to mentors, older couples, or pastoral figures about your feelings.
  • They can provide insights from their experiences and a more objective perspective.

6. Evaluate Over Time

  • Feelings can be fleeting. As time progresses, continually assess the relationship.
  • Is there growth in spiritual and emotional connection, or does the relationship stagnate at physical attraction?

7. Remember Proverbs 31:30

  • This scripture says, “Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain; but a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised.”
  • It’s a reminder that while physical beauty is transient, a godly character is invaluable.
  • The same goes for men. Seek a partner whose inner virtues outshine external allure.

8. Engage in Group Activities

  • Participating in group events or double dates can offer a more comprehensive perspective of the person you’re dating.
  • Observing them in various scenarios can help determine if the attraction is merely physical or if deeper qualities draw you to them.

The Role of Physical Attraction in the Long Run

  • It’s worth noting that while initial physical attraction can be the catalyst for interest, relationships evolve.
  • As years go by, external beauty may fade, but the beauty of a shared spiritual journey, mutual respect, trust, and deep emotional connection will only grow.
  • 1 Peter 3:3-4 beautifully captures this sentiment: “Let your beauty be not just the outward adorning of braiding the hair, and of wearing jewels of gold, or of putting on fine clothing; but in the hidden person of the heart, in the incorruptible adornment of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God.”

Physical attraction, when understood and placed within its proper context, can be a beautiful part of the Christian dating experience. However, it’s the deeper spiritual and emotional bonds that stand the test of time. By integrating the actionable tips above and seeking God’s guidance, believers can ensure they’re on a path to a relationship that’s not only physically fulfilling but also emotionally enriching and spiritually uplifting.

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